By Loretta Walker
Abandonment is a voluntary rejection. The person willingly forsook you. I was seven years old when my father moved out of our home and my life. He would drift in once and a while but never really made me feel like he cared about me as his daughter. I guess you could say we never connected.
At the time he left, we had a nice home (by the standards of the times). My Mom was running a room and board for the elderly and he was an over-the-road truck driver. In my young mind, it seemed like we were rich. I remember asking and dreaming of a swimming pool. I guess back then that was a true sign of wealth in West Virginia.
After my Dad left, we had some extenuating circumstances occur that cost us our home and literally my Mom, brother and I were homeless for three years. Dad was never there for us (more details are available in my book, “Invisible Hurts”). This compounded my feelings of hurt from this man whom I called Dad. Over and over I had dreams of his return and the pool in our back yard (a sign that all was well) in my childish mind.
Fast forward to when I was nineteen years old and a Sophomore in Bible College. Pastor Jack Hyles was preaching a series on Sunday morning about the Love of God. I still remember sitting there overwhelmed by his words. This was the first time I really noticed the verse, Ps 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. I thought, “God will be my father”.
What does a girl do that had never had a father? I had watched my roommate in college call her Dad and talk to him about everything. I was amazed and more than a little jealous that she had someone to whom she could run. They seemed to very close. I decided right then and there that I would be close to my heavenly Father. Ps 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.
By the way, I have great news for all of us out there that have faced some sort of abandonment. There is great peace in realizing that the God of the universe is only a prayer away as far as my talking to Him and only a book away as far as my hearing from Him. God will never abandon you:
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee , nor forsake thee.”
“When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.”
I suddenly began talking to God about everything. If a girl hurt my feelings walking down the college hallway, I’d talk to Him. If a family member made me feel stupid, I would talk to Him. If one of my bus kids disappointed me, I’d complain to Him. I drew great comfort in realizing that He heard every word I said. Then I would read the Bible and verses would pop out at me to teach me how to handle those indiscretions. This is how it has been for years. That is the only way I can describe this heavenly Father/daughter relationship.
In all my younger years, I wanted to be a Daddy’s girl. I began that journey over 40 years ago and still find I enjoy my relationship with my heavenly father.
Dear reader I implore you to overcome that feeling of abandonment by trusting in the One who will always be there for you. Start today to have a daily Bible reading time and talk to God all the time when you are happy or sad. He is really the only one who can take it.
Ps 147:5 “Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.”