by Linda Vaprezsan

Genesis 2:18, “The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

I am so glad God thought it was necessary for man not to be alone. My husband and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary this past summer. As I have been reflecting on our fifty years, I am amazed at how marvelous they have been. Of course, there have been bumps along the road, but looking back, they seem so small.

Yes, God made us women for our husbands, but it is our choice to love our husband. Nowhere in the Bible does it state that women are to love their husbands. Several Scriptures state that a husband is to love his wife, but ladies, we have a choice! I know that sounds a little cynical, but let me explain.

If we as wives choose to love our husbands, we will have a happy marriage—not perfect, but happy. In today’s society, marriage doesn’t seem to be sacred, and couples do not seem to be committed to each other. They do their own thing, when they want, with whom they want, without thinking of their spouse. Faithfulness in marriage is looked upon so lightly. I recently heard the wife of a dear couple say after 71 years of marriage, “I didn’t marry him for better or for worse; I married him forever.”

Ladies, choose to go in to your marriage for the long haul.Don’t jump ship at the first hurdle you come to. For instance, when I had been married less than two weeks, we were living out of state, away from our parents while my husband finished college, and he decided we would play a game of par-3 golf with a couple of his guy friends from college. We both had teed off, and he suggested we start walking to the next hole. If you know anything about golf, that is not a good idea. Anyway, as we walked, we turned around to watch one of the next young men tee off. As the next golfer got ready, my “new” husband said to me, “I will stand in front of you to protect you.”

I thought, “How sweet.” Well, when the ball was hit, it came right at us—a line drive. My brave husband jumped out of its way, and of course, the ball hit me. Fortunately, I was hit on my hip, but being hit by a golf ball at high speed was very painful. Of course he felt bad (and I have never let him forget it). I had a bruise for weeks.

Now this could have been one of those “deal breakers.” Fortunately, I loved him enough to laugh at the situation through the pain and forgive him. I’m so grateful I did because it has been a wonderful journey. I wouldn’t trade a day of our 50+ years together. God has been so good to me.

Someone asked me once what I thought was a good piece of advice to give to young women who were planning to get married, especially to those who were planning to go into the ministry. My answer was, “Do not be a high-maintenance woman.” Women who are high maintenance make it very difficult on their husbands to be able to do their jobs, whether secular or ministerial.

We, as women, should be able to GO WITH THE FLOW. Flexibility is the hardest thing for us women. We want what we want when we want it. But that is not the way God may have planned for us. If you GO WITH THE FLOW, your life will be less complicated, and you will be less stressed.

Ask yourself, “Why did I marry him?” Truly, WHY? Was it for prestige, for attention, to get out of your home, to defy your parents, to show people you could do it, to have more money, etc.? If any of those are your answers, I feel sorry for you. You do not understand what a marriage truly is.

Marriage is built on love between a man and a woman who set their differences aside and form a unit. I was fortunate to have married a man who loves and cherishes me. His goal is to take care of me. My goal is to cherish and love him back and to be the best helpmeet I possibly can.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.