By Kim Robinson, Knoxville, Tennessee
A widow’s sorrow continues on year after year. The height, width, and depth of it changes dimension as time marches on. The celebration of the Lord’s birthday brings with it the season of my husband’s birthday as well. The last month of the year holds a certain dread—of having to face yet another lonely birthday, Christmas, and new year without my dear husband. But through it all, the Lord continues to be with me. Yes, there is this profound loneliness…but praise God, Jesus carries the grief WITH me and FOR me. This is something special that He lovingly does for widows who are His children.
It is week number two of a new job—in a new location and in a new role. I am stepping back in time it seems…out of an office and no longer wearing the manager’s mantle.I’m now in scrubs with a stethoscope around my neck and treatment cards in my pocket.
Today is December 14—my husband’s birthday. My widow’s heart has been heavy of late. I’ve been asking the Lord, starting days ago, to please help me get through this birthday and holiday season. This year I’ve avoided the department stores, where I invariably walk the aisles looking at clothes I would be pleased to buy as gifts for my “Dapper-Dan” husband.I have stopped myself from lingering at the greeting card racks, wishfully looking for the birthday and Christmas card perfectly suited to my Dan. No, instead I am sitting in my car praying for God’s grace and divine presence before stepping out and into a day of work enduring my very private and secret mourning. Within an hour I am stepping into a patient’s room— a patient I’ve never seen before.And there he is—a man in his 50s sitting in a chair—in his gown.“Good morning. Are you Tommy